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PARK BENCH WITH LOVE

I slept with a bleeding heart
Woke up a bit and flood out the tears
I think it is done
I think there will be no repetition
But who knows the deep of someone's heart?

I go down on my knee and ask
Why Lord I can't get over it?
My heart feels so numb
I don't even realise I still alive

The sky is grey every day
Blur is my companion
I feel this world is only for them who knows how to be happy
And the one like me deserve loneliness and mourn

But there is one thing I forgot
The power of The Lord on the Highest place
When I sat down on the park bench
And hear the voice of little girl saying,

"It doesn't matter how I feel, Barbie.
I don't believe it, either. Why?
Because He saved me from a nightmare last night,
And He let me have cereal for breakfast.
Not just that, Barbie, I am no longer feel my fever
I can taste the warmth of the Sun with you
And that's all I need right now"

What do I searching for? - I asked myself suddenly.

"It's all about love, Barbie.
I love you when it's rain,
And I love you when it's dry,
Because He loves me first,
And I want to share it with you.
You don't need to give anything in return,
I know He has sent you,
And it's my turn to sending back my love through you"

Birds stop chirping,
The wind blows calmly,
The breeze and the silence,
Take me back to the memory.

Maybe... maybe,
It's because I forgot to put the love
It's because I expecting something
It's because I forgot He loves me

Wound... oh wound,
If only I acknowledge your presence
And say to you "That I will not be ruled by you"
And keep spreading this love
Maybe it will not become wound
But it is the step to know He is able to heal me

I should be grateful forever
For He is trusting me to go to the next level
So I could learn to be humble
And set my heart on the right angle

Past is something I'm afraid of
Rejection and loneliness that I can't let go
But now I see what it means to have true love
To light up every heart and sacrifice our light that will soon go off




Note:

This modern poem was written to remind me when I was living my dark days when I lost my ability to think straight and never be in the mood to socialize with people. It was painful, but because of my fault. I think I did right, but after I evaluate that. There were also some wrong parts. My possessive mind, I manifest that possessive thought by wrapping my mind all alone, either morning or night, I easily cried, deny everything, and compromise with reality to take me back to the time when I felt happy. But after hundreds sleepless night, I finally can get over with it by remembering something, maybe it also some understanding that I have made by myself, "that He will never take anything from my life, but He just creates a distance so I can grow and fill the gap with people I needed in my life condition right now". I... almost fell again, actually, I was. But, it was not as bad as before, and really, I can truly say, love, will change everything. From anything that I do, even the most simple one like saying good morning...If I expecting it in return, I will be angry if someone doesn't reply that. But rather than being easily in temper, remember what Apostle Paul said about manifests of love... I can feel it better now. If something is going along with love, your heart will speak. And it will never be wrong. It will still ask you to consider something, but it mostly will not go off of the track. Back again in the example of saying good morning. Some might think you are annoying, or maybe even the people you want to talk to. Trust me... Your heart will give you a light sometimes to get off for a while, just follow it. But when... Your heart is ready to begin again and knowing that maybe, this day, when I say good morning, there will be someone who has been through a bad time, and by this, I might help. It will be right anyway. It is a great sign and hope of love. For those people especially. And the rest, will one day find the truth.


Keep spreading love of Christ! Xoxo

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Location: Surabaya, Surabaya City, East Java, Indonesia

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